Part of Hubby's job is to inform people of appointments needed, training required, testing dates, etc. He sends out emails requesting that people come into his office to sign for things to show accountability. The most frustrating part of his day is repeating himself over and over to people who refuse to think for themselves and take personal accountability for themselves. They want to be told verbally what do to and when, they do not want to have to read it for themselves. They want reminders sent out, because they don't feel they need to be responsible. If they have a question, they want the answer to be given to them without putting forth any effort to figure it out. And if they miss an appointment, don't listen to instructions, or don't find the answer to the question they had - It's NOT their Fault!! It's always someone else's fault, always.
So why the rant you may ask? Because I see it in my own son, every day. That entitlement mentality rears it's ugly head. My job, is to beat it out of him, often. When it comes to homework, he wants me to tell him how to do it instead of reading the directions himself. Playing a video game, he wants help as soon as he is stuck before attempting to try. He wants to be told what his chores are everyday! So my new phrase is "What do you think?" I use it often and for everything. I refuse to play into this mentality when I know he is capable of doing it himself. (I used to ask him "Where's your brain?" but that seemed a bit harsh :0)
Just the other day we are out at lunch, invited by friends, and there are balloons everywhere. He of course asks me for one. The answer I give is NO. It's not his birthday, he has balloons at home, he is not entitled to one. He asks why he can't have one and I respond "Why do you think?" he thinks about it for awhile and comes up with the same reasons I have. We get in the car to leave and he tries to tell me that his friends got balloons even though he didn't. I told him that if it was that important he should have taken care of it himself.
"How could you have gotten a balloon?" I ask.
"I asked you but you said no." sulky voice included.
"Wasn't my balloon to give you" I reply.
"I could have asked our waitress?" He asks timidly.
"What do you think?"
I will get rid of this ugly entitlement monster yet!! Please, get rid of any living in your house and do the world a favor. Maybe we can have a generation of kids who think for themselves, take responsibility for that which is given to them and show accountability for themselves. Crazy, I know!!
I can show you where it started: http://afcm.org/hcinar_video.html
ReplyDeletePeople seem to have forgotten they need to earn what they need/want even if you have to struggle for it. There are too many hand outs. Also, this goes hand in hand with instant gratification.
Thanks for the link! That was brilliant!! I loved the first video segment although they were both great. Brilliant!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great topic.....reminds me of so many experiences I had as a teacher, a parent and as a grandparent.
ReplyDeleteI came from a well-off family--but nothing was ever HANDED to me- including my college education. Told by my father- IF I would not go into PRE-MED, he would not pay for a cent of my college. He meant that- and I knew it.
I got an academic scholarship the last month of my Senior Year of high school. I went into ELEM. ED., to hear my Dad then claim I was facing a career path wherein I would NEVER be rich nor appreciated! Dad missed that basic fact of a person being able to do what they wanted in life- and what they felt was their aspiration as to a career.
I have dealt with parents- even one was a Youth Minister, who felt that their child deserved awards, recognition, even if they did nothing to earn it- or even cheated on filling out forms to attain that award.
On the other hand, my own granddaughter waited almost a month for her SCI FAIR ribbon this schoolyear- and it was handed to her in the hall. She returned to her classroom and was told to sit down. The Quarterly Recognition Assembly was held that same week-- it was another deciding factor to look for another school for the next school year- one that honestly would reward students and never slight them.
Some things are big deals to kids--but adults cannot always be their spokesperson- nor their advocate. You do need to learn to speak-up....be your own best friend-- yet we see far too often, adults mentioning negatives about kids, not their strengths.
All kids matter- not just a parent's own kids-- people who work with kids, no matter in what capacity- should be mindful that positive comments do wonders for their self-esteem. We are all just works in progress-- no matter our age..................
great topic--- and as a retired teacher- one more thing--- the kids who are out there INVOLVED and working hard, with supportive families-- were the ones who became successful as adults.....
Vicki Sheley